Arriving at the eki (station) and determining which line was going my way, I found a place away from the constant stream of people arriving to wait the few minutes for my train. After a couple minutes, I looked to my left and to my right and noticed the majority of faces around me were non-Asian. This isn’t something you often see in Japan but remembering the appeal of sumo wrestling to the many foreigners I had seen earlier at the Kokugikan, and remembering that my train headed in the direction of the most-foreigner friendly neighborhoods, it made sense. Just then, the family coming of the escalator caught my eye. They were a mish-mash of adults and children, reminding me of the big family from Home Alone where no one really looked like they’re actually related. The Dad dressed in ankle socks, denim shorts, fanny pack, and thick lensed glasses made me suspicious we were of the same nationality, and when I saw one kid dressed in a Boy Scout uniform, and another in a Tiger cub uniform, it confirmed it. As they came off the escalator, loud and strange to the calm, quiet atmosphere, I hoped to myself, ‘don’t stand behind me, don’t stand behind me.’ Alas it was to no avail, and my isolated spot waiting for the train drew in the clamorous crew of nine. The train arrived soon after and most of the seats were open. I found an available end seat, and took my place to relax and unwind when the rambunctious Tiger Cub dove into the seat next to me. His little feet were already all over the seat, so I made the executive decision, stood up and relocated a little ways down the car.
The seat that I selected was optimal for observing this curious family from a safe distance. I had gone from riding the tsunami to being on safari. It appeared as though they really were like the Home Alone family in that there were 3 or so different families travelling together. The random assortment of mismatched kids sat grouped together on the bench, and the parents, some sitting and some standing held conversations that echoed throughout the car. Suddenly something caught my eye. The Tiger Cub had gone from a state of rowdy excitement to the faraway look of zoning out. Slowly the Tiger reached up with his little finger and stuck it in his nose. He went to work, thoroughly poking and picking around. ‘Gross!’ I thought, ‘Look away! Look away!’ But I couldn’t for long. I was sucked into watching the Tiger, and even as I averted my eyes to look elsewhere, they’d have to verify this horror was still happening and inevitably look back. I’m not proud of myself. Though I was unable to look away from the mess, the other kids and parents around him had developed a resistance to sensing the unabashed booger party infront of them.
After I had vacated my original seat, a young Japanese man had hopped onto the train last minute and taken it. He had settled in, and was playing a game on his iPhone with rapt attention. The eyes of the Tiger, finger still in nose moved slowly like a zombie to his left and landed on the iPhone screen. The action on the screen quickly drew him in, and thankfully drew his finger out. When the guy sensed the kid hovering over his shoulder he looked up, and they made the instant gamer connection, wordlessly and in a matter of moments. The little boy pulled himself onto his knees to look at the screen and the action was so good, that after a few minutes the little boy began making suggestions to the guy. ‘Why don’t you make it go here?’ was how it innocently began. That gradually built up to ‘Put it over there.’ And ‘No, try it the other way.’ He offered advice for a little while, and it looked like the guy was just not acknowledging him because he didn’t speak any English and didn’t know really understand what this little kid was saying. Tiger Cub didn’t let this deter him, and I wasn’t entirely convinced that he completely understood that he was in a country where not many people speak English. The guy just kept playing intently, and this led the kid to become hands-on with his advice.
Reaching his trusty finger out, it began to move horizontally in the direction of the touch-screen phone. ‘No’ I thought to myself, but it was too late, the Tiger Cub began to smear the finger that had not long ago been buried knuckle-deep in his nose, around the screen. ‘Do it like this.’ He said, and the guy smiled as the Tiger helped, thinking he was connecting with a kid from another country, not knowing the whole truth. After a little bit, Tiger Cub tired of the action and went back to his zombie-like zoned out state. Reliably, the finger went back in the nose.
I felt like a weirdo for being on a safari turned nightmare, unable to resist the horror playing out before me. Usually subway safari is less gut wrenching. This time Tiger Cub decided to raise the stakes and make it a little more interesting. Like a serial killer, he began to evolve his technique. Instead of going the straight vertical motion required of his hobby, he added a twist. With every treasure he’d find, he would incorporate a new motion where he brought it close and examined each new discovery. Then this led to the consumption of said discovery. Things went on for a while like this, feeling a little sick and counting down the stops until I got off, I found it safest if I began staring at the floor. Eventually the guy playing with his iPhone had concluded his gaming, and the motion of him putting the phone in his lap caught my eye. He looked up to determine which stop we were at and then looked over at his new friend. Tiger Cub was oblivious to this, and was mid-examination of his latest speciman. Suddenly, I saw a look of recognition cross iPhone guy’s face when he realized what Tiger Cub was looking at. And then a wordless look of horror flashed next as Tiger Cub ate the specimen. iPhone guy jumped up , walked over and stood by the door. At the next stop he got off, never looking back.
Though I doubt iPhone guy got off at the next stop solely because of the horror he witnessed next to him, I’m sure it helped that he lived in ignorance for so long. I find that the Japanese have this adept skill for nodding off, half-sleeping, gaming, or listening to their iPod and then becoming alert exactly in time for their stop. And it was only because iPhone guy had to get off then that he finally discovered what was happening next to him. The stop after iPhone guy’s departure, the entire clan left the train too, and I was able to ride two more stops in comfortable quiet. Though I’m not sure how comfortable I can actually pretend the rest of the ride was. The ride home of horror had left me feeling tense and grossed out, as well as aware of just how wrong a simple game of observation can go. By sharing this now I’m letting out the horror that I’ve bottled up inside. In the words of Forrest Gump, ‘That’s all I have to say about that.’
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