The Art of Gift-Giving

December 2010 brought with it the end of the year and in true 2010-tradition, also inspired new experiences. In retrospect, for a person who is usually on the hunt for adventure, 2010 was the most amount of adventure I have been fortunate to pack into a year in recent memory.

Because I have long felt since my arrival that 1 year is such a limited amount of time, and that I need to make the most of living in Tokyo, I opted to remain in Japan for the holidays. I had a couple of weeks for vacation, and I assured myself that I was going to finally do some of the things that I had never had the free time to do. Visit Akihabara. Check. Visit Disneyland. Check. Wear a kimono. Check. Yet even with such diverse new opportunities, my favorite new experience was the one that I had with gift-giving in Japan.

Gift-giving is where this journey began. Having had to long bear witness to the complexities of gift-giving inherent to the Japanese, it was no surprise that when I was preparing to move to Japan my mother sent with me dozens of gifts or 'omiyage' for my family. That was back in the summer, and because I grew up in the American culture, and upon my arrival was so busy getting settled and keeping work as my priority, I didn't get around to passing on the gifts until December! The Philadelphia-esque books and pencils omiyage I brought for my colleagues I handed out promptly on my first day.

Fortunately, as a foreigner you are given many free passes and looked upon with leniency in terms of the ubiquitous customs so everyone was extremely polite and happy to receive the family gifts belatedly in December (though there were a number of summery shirts and other warm-weather things). I had planned to also give out small Christmas gifts to my family to thank them for their incredible hospitality in accomodating their often-confused American relative as she re-acquainted herself with (and frequently butchered) the language. They had been infinitley patient, kind and generous. My cousins still live at home with my Aunt and Uncle so the fact that I live on my own, I think when I return to my home in Roppongi after visiting, it's kind of like when your child goes back to college and you wonder what they'll eat. After my first visit to their home I returned with an abundance of dishes, glasses and silverware. Returning from consecutive visits has netted me a bounty of food and tea worthy of a pirate.

They were all pleased with the variety of things I bought them, ranging from alcohol (my family enjoys a good party) to winter products and clothing. And then at work, I decided that I was going to break precedent (in Japan they don't exchange gifts for Christmas to the extent we do- it's a limited custom) and give presents. As with my family, my colleagues in Tokyo have been incredibly patient, kind, generous and more important- dear friends. I wanted to give everyone something to show my gratitude and that could make them laugh.

As the Japanese rarely turn down an opportunity to view pictures, I'm always sharing pictures with my surrounding colleagues of my friend Kewpie-chan. Kewpie-chan is a little doll that I purchased to spice up my photography. After a few online photo albums of Japanese architecture and culture it was time to make my pictures stand out and engage. Thus I concocted a plan, and began to bring Kewpie-chan along for the ride.


Traditional Japanese sake and Kewpie-chan.


Hilariously tiny liquor shop in Roppongi (wide enough for the one man to stand). And there's Kewpie-chan!


Mount Fuji and Kewpie-chan.

She appears in many of my pictures, and it's been a funny way to tell stories. Because of the ongoing Kewpie-storyline, and that many find it funny that I refer to her as my friend, I thought it would be perfect if I picked up Kewpie doll 'friends' for all of my co-workers as well. The last day before I left for Christmas break (everyone here works on Christmas Eve and through until December 29th), I presented my friends with their very own 'friends'. The response was exactly what you hope for when you give a present. Surprise! Delight! Laughter! It was a good feeling. I didn't expect anything in return, just wanted to show my gratitude and appreciation, but what came afterwards, was quite a surprise.

Later that week I had planned to meet with some colleagues for a Japanese sake party. We're forever going out to this one place, Utopia, under the guise of finding which is Sara's favorite Japanese sake. Needless to say, by the end of the night, I usually can't remember how many different types I've had, let alone which one is my favorite.

That Friday evening, I had stopped by work to find everyone, but arrived a little late and they had gone ahead. I caught up with my manager and a couple other people on the walk to the location. Along the way, I asked if everyone else had already gone ahead, and was told they had. We arrived at Utopia and to my surprise only Nakagawa-san was sitting there waiting. He is an older gentleman, and my very good friend. He says he thinks of me as a daughter and I think of him as a grandfather (it's not really balanced is it..?). Come to think of it, in reflecting on us as I write this we have what you might call a dysfunctional family relationship. One where you go out and drink together until your eyes are swimming in your head. And then sing karaoke until you're hoarse. Well, I'll take what I can get.

Anyway, he was sitting there all alone and had a neatly wrapped present beside him. Of course I wanted to know what this present was all about so I sat beside him. Asking him where everyone was, he said they had a couple errands to take care of. The 5 of us sat and waited for 30 minutes then began to order food and Japanese drinks. Gradually 3 more people trickled in.

Imagine this. You're sitting at a table with 5 other people drinking incredibly strong liquor and rice wine. You're being offered different types to drink next with varying degrees of flavor from either side of you. After you finish one kind in a glass the size of a shot glass, you begin to sip on the next one. Suddenly as your friends sit down and join the table of 5, instead of handing you drinks, you're being handed gifts. I enjoyed it immensely though it felt strange to get presents when no one else did. It was a bit like my birthday, but with Christmas wrapping paper. We had a great time, and I received a shocking mulitude of things from my colleagues. Wooden toy snake, glow in the dark eyeball, crock pot, Japanese tea set, digital photoframe, bath salts, antique Japanese doll, a purse, origami paper, Hello Kitty kitchen timer (Nakagawa-san didn't know what to get his 25-year old 'daughter').

The gifts were nowhere the equivalent of the silly Kewpie-dolls that I gave, but it just goes to show the generous spirit of the people I work with. I have learned that when you give a gift, the Japanese will give one in return, but looking at all that I received from my many colleagues it was too much! I felt so lucky, and it was with this gesture and the ensuing hangover that I began the countdown to 2011.

A couple of pictures my colleague shared with me today. My Kewpie pictures inspired him to do his own. Meet Majima-san's Kewpie (they come naked, I fashioned my Kewpie a toga for modesty's sake):