Breathe, one, two

Surreality has defined my life since the last post I made. It's been a while.

A quick sum of what happened in the last year and a half. I planned a 2 week trip home from Tokyo for my birthday and a business meeting in the U.S. It was my first time leaving Japan in 9 months, and a welcome break from cultural immersion. I looked forward to seeing my family and sharing my experiences with friends, family and colleagues.

I flew from Japan March 4th, 1 week later.. March 11th, disaster struck. Tsunami, earthquake, death and destruction ravaged a thriving country. I thought I'd return no problem in a couple more weeks. The tenuous control over the Fukushima nuclear plant's radiation deprived any chance of returning home. My life fell apart. I lived out of 2 suitcases and off of friend's charity for nearly 2 months before I settled into a new place and new job in Philadelphia.

The impact on my life didn't end there. I recognize how lucky I was to not have been in Japan during the actual disaster, but the pain and stress that resulted from that situation has continued to define my everyday life. Some days I think I've moved on and it's okay but then sometimes I see it's impact peeking through in my daily life. Unexpected moments of anxiety and pain.

It's hard to talk about... I feel that I'm supposed to be over it. The world news has moved on, the people around here don't think of it, even in Japan they've moved on. Actually, it's as a friend there said to me, it was an instinct to create normalcy that kicked in following the devastating disaster and everyone moved to routine as much as could be.

Here I am a year and 3 months later, and those events still silently haunt me. It's probably normal, but to think of it in the back of my mind as life goes on around me is strange. I just breathe, and do my best to focus on now and the good in my life.